Quotes by Woody Allen
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
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To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
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Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
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Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
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More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
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Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
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My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
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I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
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Eighty percent of success is showing up.
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