EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES - The Obsessive-Compulsive Vampire Checklist

Obsessive-Compulsive Vampires are perfectionists who dot every i, cross every t, but can't seem to see the forest for the for the superfluous overabundance of trees.

LOOK FOR: Overwork and emotional constipation.

DRAW YOU IN WITH: Competence, hard work, and attention to detail.

DRAIN YOU BY: Punishing everybody who's not as competent as they are.

THE ONES YOU SEE EVERY DAY: Puritans, perfectionists, and control freaks.

DEFENSIVE STRATEGY: Negotiate to deliver a product, then resist attempts to control the process.

VICE MASQUERADING AS VIRTUE:          

True or false? Score one point for each true answer.

1. THIS PERSON IS A WORKAHOLIC.

2. THIS PERSON HAS A HARD TIME RELAXING.

3. THIS PERSON BELIEVES THERE'S A RIGHT WAY AND A WRONG WAY TO DO EVERYTHING.

4. THIS PERSON CAN USUALLY FIND SOMETHING WRONG WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S WAY OF DOING ANYTHING.

5. THIS PERSON TAKES AN INORDINATELY LONG TIME TO MAKE UP HIS OR HER MIND, EVEN ABOUT SMALL MATTERS.

6. ONCE THIS PERSON HAS MADE UP HIS OR HER MIND, IT'S ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO CHANGE IT.

7. THIS PERSON SELDOM GIVES A SIMPLE YES OR NO ANSWER.

8. THIS PERSON'S ATTENTION TO DETAIL MAY BE ANNOYING, BUT IT HAS SAVED PEOPLE FROM MAKING DANGEROUS OR COSTLY MISTAKES.

9. THIS PERSON HAS A VERY CLEAR MORAL CODE.

10. THIS PERSON NEVER SEEMS TO THROW ANYTHING AWAY.

11. THIS PERSON RUNS HIS OR HER LIFE ACCORDING TO THE ADAGE, 'IF YOU WANT SOMETHING RIGHT, DO IT YOURSELF'.

12. THIS PERSON CAN SPEND ALMOST AS MUCH TIME ORGANIZING A TASK AS DOING IT.

13. THIS PERSON ALWAYS LOOKS NEAT AND WELL ORGANIZED.

14. IN MEETINGS, THIS PERSON WILL OFTEN SUGGEST DELAYING ACTION UNTIL MORE INFORMATION CAN BE OBTAINED.  

15. THIS PERSON BALANCES HIS OR HER CHECKBOOK TO THE PENNY.

16. THIS PERSON IS CONTROLLING.

17. THIS PERSON DOES NOT SEE HIM OR HERSELF AS CONTROLLING, ONLY RIGHT.

18. THIS PERSON, WHEN ASKED TO GIVE INPUT ON SOMETHING WRITTEN, WILL ALWAYS CORRECT THE GRAMMAR AND SPELLING, AND SOMETIMES MAKE NO COMMENT ON THE OVERALL IDEA.

19. THIS PERSON EXPRESSES ANGER BY ASKING HOSTILE QUESTIONS THAT HE OR SHE SEES AS SIMPLE REQUESTS FOR INFORMATION.

20. THIS PERSON BECOMES IRRITATED OR UPSET IF ASKED TO DEVIATE FROM HIS OR HER ROUTINES.

21. THIS PERSON OFTEN FEELS OVERWHELMED BY ALL THE WORK HE OR SHE HAS TO DO.

22. THOUGH THIS PERSON NEVER SAYS IT DIRECTLY, IT'S CLEAR HE OR SHE TAKES PRIDE IN WORKING HARDER THAN EVERYBODY ELSE.

23. THIS PERSON TAKES AS MUCH PRIDE IN HIS OR HER PERFECT ATTENDANCE RECORD AS HE OR SHE DOES IN ANY OTHER ACHIEVEMENTS.

24. THIS PERSON HAS A HARD TIME FINISHING TASKS.

25. THIS PERSON WILL GO THROUGH ANY AMOUNT OF PERSONAL DIFFICULTY TO MAKE GOOD ON A PROMISE, AND EXPECTS YOU TO DO THE SAME.   

Scoring: Five or more true answers qualifies the person as an Obsessive-Compulsive Emotional Vampire, though not necessarily for a diagnosis of Obsessive-Compulsive Personality.  If the person scores higher than ten, don't get too close or you'll get zapped.

By ALBERT J. BERNSTEIN, Ph.D.