Positive Thinking

After identifying your negative thoughts, write several positive statements for each negative one. Most of the questions in the above list aid in generating ideas for more helpful thought alternatives. First, focus on what you can do about the problem. Replace unfulfilled longing with realistic goals or plans for change. When you can't do anything to change a problem situation, work toward acceptance. Use thoughts like, "I don't really need it." You may need to change your priorities to fit the reality of the situation. Write optimistic, rather than pessimistic, views of it. Instead of dwelling on sorrows, practice thankfulness for your friends, pleasures, strengths, and other blessings. When you compare yourself to other people negatively, emphasize that no matter what trait you consider, you can always find people who are either more fortunate or less fortunate than you. Find the good part of your failures, problems, actions, experiences, or situations. You can find good in almost anything. View failure as a learning experience teaching you what doesn't work, so you can succeed in later attempts. If you have trouble with your child, take pride in setting limits to teach your child, in supporting, and in forgiving your child. Relabel crying, vulnerability, or anxious, upset feelings as sensitivity.

Don't use overly simplistic, general thought alternatives such as: "It's not so bad," "That's not true," or "Look at the bright side." Statements like these become trite when you use them in a variety of situations. An effective alternative focuses on helpful aspects or views of the particular situation. A positive thought alternative should also sound convincing and help you feel the way you want to feel, act in your own best interest, and avoid further problems.

Whenever you find yourself thinking one of your habitual negative thoughts, think "STOP!" This makes you more aware of negative thoughts and helps you reject them. Then practice substituting more helpful thought alternatives every time. Keep a list of your most common negative thought habits and positive alternatives for each. Refer to this list whenever negative thoughts arise, until you can substitute helpful alternatives from memory or immediately make up new thought alternatives to counter the negative thoughts. When a negative thought arises and circumstances make it impossible to read your list, read it at the next convenient moment.

In addition, read all of your positive thought alternatives several times each day. This helps you build new positive thinking habits. It also helps make up for the times negative thoughts arise and you forget to read your list or you can't stop and read it. Because of similarities between many habitual negative thoughts, you can often counter new negative thoughts with some of your planned alternatives. If none of your alternatives seem appropriate, write down the new negative thought and create some positive alternatives for it later.