Overcoming Depression and Finding Happiness II

Remember sadness is always temporary.  This, too, shall pass. Can't, If, When, and But never did anything. Trials give you strength, sorrows give understanding and wisdom.Reexamine your expectations or priorities in life and, if necessary, adjust them to suit reality better.  Depressed people often think they can't be happy without certain things, such as a lover, a particular lover, material possessions, a much higher income, etc.  You can eliminate such problems by changing your negative thinking and learning to accept the situation.  Certain situations or troublesome people simply won't change.  When you can do something about a problem, however, you should.  For example, you may need to leave an alcoholic spouse or to go to school to prepare for a better job.

Work on your personal problems, using small steps to make sure you avoid becoming overwhelmed.  Work on only one or two simple things at a time, breaking large or complex problems into goals you can easily accomplish.  Use rewards, friends, family, and support groups.  What negative or stressful situations exist in your life?  What can you do about them?  Don't give up and allow your problems to continue.  Brainstorm solutions and ask other people for ideas.  Some depressed people reject all the possible solutions, finding reasons to eliminate each one as unacceptable, unpleasant, or unworkable.  Don't let negative thought habits interfere with problem solving.  Keep an open mind to all possible solutions.

Take a long, hard, honest look at yourself for personal problems, paying particular attention to repeating problems in your life.  Do you need more interests and activities to avoid boredom and keep your mind off negative thoughts?  If you avoid confrontations and bury your anger at mistreatment from others until you explode, work on assertiveness and expressing your anger in constructive ways.  Are some people inconsiderate, unkind, overly critical, or overly hostile toward you?  If certain people in your life contribute to your depression by the things they do, you may need to become more assertive with these people, to reduce your contact with them, or even to eliminate them from your life.  Do you abuse alcohol or other drugs? 

Change bad habits that keep you depressed.  Look at the excerpt on Thinking on this web site and work on replacing negative thoughts with positive thought alternatives every day in the ways described there.  That excerpt includes many examples of negative thoughts.  If you tend to blame circumstances or other people for your depression, combat these thoughts of helplessness by reading or by repeating, "I made myself depressed over that.  I didn't have to respond that way."  Use assertiveness skills, good problem-solving skills, or more positive thinking the next time a similar situation arises.  If you often assume other people think badly of you, read or repeat "I can't read other people's minds."  Humor also helps a great deal in facing life's problems without drowning in negativity.